Saturday, January 12, 2008

Legend of Midget Tree.

Last night, over drinks n' nibbles at a local restaurant, the Fox and I touched on an obscure but critical component of midget lore...the Midget Tree.

If you're not familiar, a Midget Tree is where a midget goes to die. At the end of their life cycle (which is longer than ours, by the way. One midget year equals almost three-and-a-half earth years,) they choose a tree to their liking, and become one with their new host. The tree then 'gives birth' to new midgets, like bearing fruit.

It sounds wonderful, I know. The beauty of nature doesn't overlook the midget one bit.

But there's a catch. There's always a catch. And I share this with you because you are my friends and I trust you not to abuse this powerful information.

If you stab the Midget Tree, any midgets born of that tree die.

Instead, why not nourish a Midget Tree? be kind to it, and feed it. To feed a midget tree is simple; it will eat anything that begins with the first letter "m" and the second letter a vowel. Like Mallow Bars, or (as a good friend pointed out) malt liquor.

So, be kind to a Midget Tree; you never know which tree could be one. And pass the legend on.

"Where have all the midgets gone?
Have they gone away for good?
Bring here some malt liquor,
And feed such tree,
As to bear more midget tree fruit for me."

-Attributed to Ricardo Montelbon


Heather said...

Maybe they like muffins and moonshine, or macaroni and mint juleps

allezoop said...

Are you on drugs? If so, please share. They sound like really good ones.

JMP said...

Mescaline, perhaps?

chewy said...

the wealth of bizarre knowledge the two of you hold is amazing...a bit disturbing at times but still amazing.

The Silver Fox said...

you didn't even mention the part about how midget trees migrate.