Saturday, May 22, 2004

"Accidents"


There are many kinds of accidents, and when I say 'accidents,' I mean specifically (in this case) "faux pas." And we've all commited them at one time or another. Perhaps you've mistakenly called someone by a different person's name. Maybe you've even had the priviledge of that someone be your significant other, and the different person is a former significant other. Maybe it even happened during sex, causing just enough awkward silence for you to go get a beer.

Believe me, though, there's worse.

What if (hypothetically) you found out 'by accident' your kinda ex-ish girlfriend (and when I say 'kinda ex-ish' I mean you haven't spoken in a few months because you almost put her eye out with fireworks on New Year's Eve,) was enagaged to be married? Say you found out by, I don't know, a friend of hers you've never met 'accidentally' cc'ing you in on an email to her wishing her the best of luck at the wedding? Boy, that would be odd, huh? Especially if your email was one of about eight people, and the other seven you've never heard of? Gosh! What are the odds of a mistake like that happening? You'd be crazy NOT to play the lottery, huh?

Now...what if, a year and a half later, you get another 'accidental' cc showing you first baby photos? WHOA! Struck by incredible odds TWICE?!?!?

I'm going out now, and only one of about four things can happen...

a. I find Belhaven, and nobody gets hurt
b. I'm killed in a bizarre deer accident (wait a minute...)
c. I have almost exactly two drinks too many, and wish Heather, Snuggles, and the Mason
were here to ensure I get home somehow
d. I remember the birthdays of my family, and get myself a ticket.

A.

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