The Irony of Life: A Quartet of Misery Performed In Eighteen Minutes.

Pretty brazen words, eh? Not so, gentle reader, will you think so after reading this. This tale of idiocy involves four women I am familiar with on different levels; let's call them X, Y, Z, and TK421.

X is a friend I know from the local pub. She used to work there. We have common friends. If X wasn't living with her boyfriend, something would have probably happened.

Y is X's friend. I met Y one night while celebrating a mutual friend's birthday party out on the town. X introduced me to her. Y is pretty. Y is smart. Y thinks I'm cool. Y rocks because of this.

Z is a random girl I have never met. She comes into this later.

TK421 is a girl I have seen around town. Because I am a chicken shit, the flirting between us has never blossomed. I know her casually.

Tonight, I was out with a friend from the local pub, and X. We were having a couple of drinks. X digs me. X has told me this. X even went so far as to say she had a brief period of doubt regarding her boyfriend because of me. I said, "that's cool, baby. But, you are involved, so let's just chill and leave things alone." (I actually said those words, ergo the quotations.) She agreed. So, anyway, we're having a couple of drinks, and she invites me to dinner with her and her boyfriend, our mutual friend with us (who she has set up with a friend, who is also invited,) and Y. Y has specifically requested my presence. Cool. I accept the invitation. Over the course of the evening, as she is drinking, she divulges to me her discomfort at seeing me with someone else, at least until she is over the whole 'me' thing. She is particularly uncomfortable with seeing me with a friend of hers. I offer to not attend the dinner. She agrees. I have lost Y. (Three to go.) She then goes to the bathroom. At this point, I notice Z. She's sitting there drinking a glass of vino, and we kind of smile. As she begins to make her move to come talk to me, X returns from the bathroom, and prompty gives me a hug. Bye bye, Z. Then, X tells me she can't really hang out with me anymore, at least until the whole 'me' things settles down. It's a stretch, but good storytelling dictates adios X. I then walk her back to her car, and we stop by her old work (the pub) so she can get her check. As we walk in, I see TK421. Her face lights up. That is, until, X "escorts" me in. At that point, TK421 pays her bill, and leaves. Sayonara, TK421. 4 chicks in eighteen minutes. I won't see another proliferation of failure like that for some time, I predict.

Oh, by the way, I was attacked by a deer in downtown Annapolis, and the cicadas have learned where I live.

There's gotta be a punchline in here somewhere.